Should I be depressed?
Strange thing is I don't feel 39 & whats even stranger is I am always forgetting my birthday now...its the others that remind me....BASTARDS LOL. I feel like a youngin' trapped in an old persons body!!!!!!!!...HELLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!
30 was a BIG turning point in my life...thats when the depression gradually got worse, I had it in my head that everything was down hill from then on, that my life was over. I was terrified of those blardy numbers & I don't know why.
When I was in my teens I could never imagine myself as growing old and always thought I'd die young....you know the saying "die young & leave a good looking corpse", be buggered if I could imagine a wrinkled up old prune in a casket.
Its so strange looking back on these thoughts I had.
I do know when I was younger I had a great fear of old people, I was actually terrified of them & that was probably because of the abuse I had suffered as a child.
Hmmmm I sound like my therapist lol..
Now that I am well (although some in my family would dispute this LOL..including me at times...pmsl) "numbers" don't seem to frighten me, they are what they are.....just numbers...& its all about how you feel inside, if you're happy within yourself things just naturally fall into place!
soooooo here it is girl HAPPY BIRTHDAY 39 YEAR OLD!!!!!! I love ya & I'm proud of ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!