My search for the silver lining

Its about me, my life, feelings, thoughts...just somewhere I can pour it all out and try and make sense of it all.

Location: New Zealand

I'm not a people person - prefering to talk to myself or my animals...obviously getting a better response from the latter most times, I'm getting old, have a sick sense of humour (so I'm told), crazy at times & did I mention old?

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


Yet again another bloody wonderful morning.....hubby started his....fucken this, fucken that, moan, groan bullshit before work & as I'm sitting there looking at him all I could think of was "I see your lips moving but all I hear is BLAH BLAH BLAH!" It was quite funny actually, he's always over-the-top...always has to moan about something, he's soooooo fucken dramatic & everythings a big deal.

Maybe its a MAN thing.....Macho bullshit.....I'm the man of the house...I make the rules & don't you forget it....What a load of C . R . A . P....Who runs the household?....Who makes sure everybody gets feed, clothed, that the bills are paid.....certainly not the friggen man.....what a joke! ......and they say woman are moaners....I think we learnt from the best.

It doesn't affect me like it used to when I was sick, I would take it all on board & doubt myself....NOW its a different story....its like..."Ohhhhh, will YOU fucken shut up, if all you're gunna do is sit there & moan & bitch about SHIT ('cause thats all it is) go stand infront of the mirror, cause thats the only friggen person thats apparently interested in your bullshit!"...or I'll just sit there like I did this morning - pretending to listen.....

Sometimes I look at him & wonder why we're still together...why I've stuck around.... because I don't like the person he is at times....... is it like a habit?.....relationships I mean, you're just so used to having them around that you get into this mindset & really can't be bothered even thinking of leaving.

Don't get me wrong...he's a good provider & a blardy hard worker....we have our dream home.....2 cars....etc etc...BUT WHATS WITH THE BLARDY MOANING??????

Anyway..I haven't let it ruin this absolutely beautiful day...the suns shining, lambs baaa - ing, roosters crowing & the birds are singing in my little piece of paradise.....I'm thankful for this day & everyother day!


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